Gentle moos from round the globe

m    o    o    c    a    t    .    n    e   t
Essays  ·  Poetry  ·  Comedy  ·  Art  ·  Video summer 2021
Gajandra and the Eating Lesson


· Sitting with Mama
· Maria
· Nine Crossings
· Mama and Her

· Fallopian Chron IV
· Why I Toast, I
· Why I Toast, II
· Why I Toast, III
· Scooter/Dot-Com
· Fallopian Chron II
· Fallopian Chron III
· Strange Bedfellow
· Almost Equal
· A Difficult Day
· Phantom Lover:
    Ode to
    Leslie Cheung

· I Am Salad
· Fallopian Chron I
· Taiwanglish
· Childhood's End
· Psychic Friends
· Life in the
    Time of SARS

· Waiting for
      the Goddess

· Roswell My Eye
· Catisfaction
· My Laramie Project
· Stopping on the
    Street for
    Coltrane: A Real
    Latter Day Saint

· Whither Moocat?
· Happy Palindrome!
· Happy Tiger
· Tourist for a Day
· Geography
    as Destiny

· "Bastards"
· Watching the
    Pentagon Burn

· Communing with

· Milk
· Infinity
· Emailing the Dead
· Broken Water
· Sand Shark
· Grandma Said
· Golden Days
· Americat
· Moe Howard on the
Death of His Brother,

· Flashpoems
· Minyan
· Inside Scoop
· Nativity
· I Ask My Mother
To Sing

· Absence of Colours
· Island Logic
· Peepshow Kleenex
· Allen Ginsberg
Forgives Ezra Pound
on Behalf of the Jews

· Lacing Your Shoes:
Haiku & the Everyday

· Four Haiku
· Smoking Haiku
· Geary & Jones,
Monday, 8:23 a.m.

· The Keeper
· december 13, 2001
· Memento Mori
· Football's Birthday
· The Edward Gorey

· Arrival
· Victim o'

· The Origin of
Teeth and Bones

· Questions for
Martins Ferry,

· This Is Just
To Tell You

· Not-Cat (& whatnot)
· To My Unmet Wife

· Englishhua
· Dave for Pope
· Papa Loves Mambo
· A Culture Report

· The Louisiana
A Special Radio X
Historical Docudrama

· Krawkawkaw Gives
a Little

· Meet Dr. Klaww
· Letters to Dr. Klaww
· Letter from the
Hall of Justice

· An Invitation
to be Keynote

· More

All Things

· Gajandra Meets
    the Scatoman

· Gajandra and
    the Curse of the
    Six Monkeys

· Gajandra and the
    Eating Lesson

· A Moment of

· Gajandra and the
    Great Rumble

· Gajandra and the
    Problem with

· Mohamed Tahdaini
· John Guillory
· Berkeley Pier
· Bruce Dene
· Death of The Bayou
· Taiwan Food Vendors
· John Freeman
· Robin Liu
· Hector
· Dave's Corner
· Zuni Kachinas

· Mainland Murmurs
· Next to Heaven
  · Episode #8

  · Episode #16
· Crosswords Brunch


Moo archives...
· Essays
· Comedy
· Poetry
· Art
· Video
Donate towards my web hosting bill!

One day Jutu stumbled upon the young Gajandra, lying under the Ban-Ban tree in his father's garden and holding his expanded belly in great torment.

"Oh Jutu, what have I done? Why does my middle section torture me so?"

"What did you eat, Master Gajandra?"

"Only some curry and Burri flake pies."

"How many curry and Burri flake pies did you eat, Master?"

"Only one!"

"But how large was this pie?"

"Only half an arm's length, wise Jutu!"

"Hmmm. And did you drink anything?"

"Yes, Jutu--Half a liter of Mug Rootbeer mixed with Diet Pepsi."

At that, the old attendant squatted down to be closer to the young swollen master, and told this story:

Once, in a village older than sand there was a little boy whose father had great wealth and power. One day the little boy stumbled upon the kitchen, where the servants were preparing the great amounts of food necessary to feed the large numbers of important visitors and guests that his father was expecting at the next day's Ramagupta Festival.

When he saw the servants mixing the curry for one of the dishes, he asked, all a-flutter with the greed of a young boy, "Servant! I demand that you allow me to eat that curry!"

"But young master," protested the servant, "this curry is for your father's festival."

"Tis no matter," lied the boy, "He has instructed me to come down here and taste the curry to make sure it is up to his wishes, since this is a very important festival."

"As you wish, master."

And the young boy greedily slurped up all of the curry that was warming in the large iron pot. It was than that he smelled the delicious odor of Burri being roasted in one of the stone ovens.

"Servant!" he cried, "When will that Burri be finished cooking?"

"It will be finished in half an hour, young master."

"Deliver it to me now, so that I may taste it to ensure highest quality, as my father has instructed me to do."

"Yes, your highness," said the servant, and she delivered the giant sheafs to the little prick for his pleasure."

"Uhhhh, excuse me for interrupting, Jutu, but did you just say 'little prick'?!"

"No, no your highness," I said "little prince."

"Oh, then please continue."

The boy ate gluttonously, devouring the entire mass of Burri sheaves. He then had the boldness to enquire, "And what of desert? What are you preparing?"

Delicious Parri berry pies, your highness, but the Parri berries have not yet arrived. Right now we only have the flaky crusts in their dishes, awaiting arrival of the berry pickers and their sweet bounty.

"Then I shall taste the crust!" he gleefully declared as he leapt toward the pie crusts and lustily fed his face. "Now I'm thirsty," he cried out, after he had eaten all the crusts. "What have you to drink?"

"But your highness, you have eaten so much, and partaken of food that has not been fully cooked and so has not risen to its full size. I fear that if you douse your stomach's contents with liquid, you will release the expanding power of the solid food, and you may explode!"

p.  1   of   2    |    Next —> © 2001-2021, by . Individual authors retain copyright over their works. Reproduce only with author's permission. has NO relation to ''