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|Essays · Poetry · Comedy · Art · Video||summer 2021|
Gajandra and the Eating Lesson
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One day Jutu stumbled upon the young Gajandra, lying under the Ban-Ban tree in his father's garden and holding his expanded belly in great torment.
"Oh Jutu, what have I done? Why does my middle section torture me so?"
"What did you eat, Master Gajandra?"
"Only some curry and Burri flake pies."
"How many curry and Burri flake pies did you eat, Master?"
"But how large was this pie?"
"Only half an arm's length, wise Jutu!"
"Hmmm. And did you drink anything?"
"Yes, Jutu--Half a liter of Mug Rootbeer mixed with Diet Pepsi."
At that, the old attendant squatted down to be closer to the young swollen master, and told this story:
Once, in a village older than sand there was a little boy whose father had great wealth and power. One day the little boy stumbled upon the kitchen, where the servants were preparing the great amounts of food necessary to feed the large numbers of important visitors and guests that his father was expecting at the next day's Ramagupta Festival.
When he saw the servants mixing the curry for one of the dishes, he asked, all a-flutter with the greed of a young boy, "Servant! I demand that you allow me to eat that curry!"
"But young master," protested the servant, "this curry is for your father's festival."
"Tis no matter," lied the boy, "He has instructed me to come down here and taste the curry to make sure it is up to his wishes, since this is a very important festival."
"As you wish, master."
And the young boy greedily slurped up all of the curry that was warming in the large iron pot. It was than that he smelled the delicious odor of Burri being roasted in one of the stone ovens.
"Servant!" he cried, "When will that Burri be finished cooking?"
"It will be finished in half an hour, young master."
"Deliver it to me now, so that I may taste it to ensure highest quality, as my father has instructed me to do."
"Yes, your highness," said the servant, and she delivered the giant sheafs to the little prick for his pleasure."
"No, no your highness," I said "little prince."
"Oh, then please continue."
The boy ate gluttonously, devouring the entire mass of Burri sheaves. He then had the boldness to enquire, "And what of desert? What are you preparing?"
Delicious Parri berry pies, your highness, but the Parri berries have not yet arrived. Right now we only have the flaky crusts in their dishes, awaiting arrival of the berry pickers and their sweet bounty.
"Then I shall taste the crust!" he gleefully declared as he leapt toward the pie crusts and lustily fed his face. "Now I'm thirsty," he cried out, after he had eaten all the crusts. "What have you to drink?"
"But your highness, you have eaten so much, and partaken of food that has not been fully cooked and so has not risen to its full size. I fear that if you douse your stomach's contents with liquid, you will release the expanding power of the solid food, and you may explode!"
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