"O Great Ganesh!" cried Gajandra, as he fell to his knees, "I seek your aid to vanquish a hateful curse that has overtaken my Kingdom!"

"Just a minute, babe," instructed the Noble Elephant God as he took one last shot at the eight-ball.

In his great excitement at being in the presence of the great elephant-headed deity, Gajandra rushed up to him and grasped Ganesh's arm, just as the God poked his ball-poking lance. The lone remaining ball-of-colour bounced near the pocket at which GANESH was aiming, but then careened steadfastly into a different pocket.

"AHHHHHHH! Scratch!" screamed SIVA, "Victory is MIIIIIIIIINEEE!"

"Hold yer armpits, babe," advised GANESH, "Tain't no scratch no-wise! I just didn't hit the pocket I was shootin' for."

"LIAR!" cried Siva as one of her many arms secretly grasped a free ball-poking lance, "We are playing by Pool-House Rules, GANESH, and no amount of sweet-talking is going to get you out of this one!"

"Fuck off, Spider-bitch," espoused GANESH, "I told you when we started, we was playin' by standard BCA Amateur League rules, which specifically state that 'A mis-potted 8-ball on a called shot results not in a loss, but merely a foul, and thus is not...' "

But the impudent SIVA would have none of his wisdom as she swung the lance high into the air and speared his thick ele-belly with it.

"Ouch!" cried the holy elephant-headed deity.

And then came the hailstorm of playing balls pitched by the fierce arms of SIVA.

"I SHALL NOT BE CHEATED!! I AM THE BALL-POKING QUEEN!!!" she cried as she lofted the table and crashed it against GANESH'S body.

"N-no! Ye Gods, Please! Do not quarrel so!" pleaded Gajandra, while trying to avoid the quickly inflaming melee.

Unfortunately, it was not long before many other Gods heard what was happening and joined in the battle. Nirukta and his armies burst into the private ball-poking room and threw fire at GANESH. GANESH called upon his brother, Kartikeya, God of War, to descend upon SIVA, Nirukta, and the armies and pummel them.

Gajandra and Jutu ran for cover as pool tables and balls and lances flew airborne left and right, and more and more Gods began roughing up the place.

"Jutu, something has gone terribly wrong!" cried Gajandra, as he was hit on the cheek by a hunk of flesh that must surely have been one of SIVA's arms at some point.

"Yes, master, we must flee!" agreed Jutu, and they high-tailed it to the brass doors and then up the fire pole, up the springboard, wormed their way up the slide, loped up the escalator, rode up the elevating room, and finally strode up the staircase to the slippery floor-tongue of the little frog with the great, gaping mouth.

But close behind them, they heard the galloping of Nirukta's horsemen and some of Siva's warriors. When they finally reached the little frog's lips, they leapt across the threshold onto firm ground and shouted, "Shut, gay frog! Shut! Shut up your mouth! Lest the demons of all Hell be let loose into the waking world!!"

The little frog did indeed close his giant mouth, just in time to deny entrance into our world to the pursuing warriors, who uttered many curses and then went back to down the frog into the ball-poking room for more battle.

"Well," said the cheerful frog, "I'm glad to see you two survived."

"Yes," gasped Gajandra, "we survived. But we failed in our mission! We did not acquire a quarter-rupee."

"Well, did you ask for one?"

"Of course we asked for one, you silly little toad!"

But just then, Gajandra felt a kick to his right buttock. It was faithful Jutu, angrily gesticulating dissension in silence.

"Well, if you're going to insult me, I guess I'll be on my way," said the little frog, and he hunched his hind legs for a leap into the oasis."

"N-No! Wait! Please don't jump, dear frog!" cried Gajandra, at last.

"Yes?"

"Please forgive me for asking, but. . . could you, gay little frog, possibly deign to share with us your goodwill and help us out with the gift of but a single quarter-rupee?"

"Oh, so NOW you need me, eh?"

"Yes, dear little leaping lord, we beseech thee!"

"Harrumph," said the frog, "Frankly my Dear, I'm not all that sure that I give a shit," and then he squatted for a second and a small amount of brown froggie fecal matter plumped from his anus, just as he leapt into the oasis pool and disappeared.

"Oh Jutu," wept Gajandra, "I have failed! I have let my own arrogance destroy the one chance we had for saving the Kingdom!"

"Oh Dear Boy," commiserated Jutu. "I know that you are sad, but are you sure you have failed?"

"Wretched Old Man!" cried Gajandra through his tears, "How can you give me that foul 'you haven't failed if you really tried' crap in this, my deepest, foulest moment?"

The old man sighed, went to the small mound of frog-poo, lifted it in one hand and presented it to his master. "I said, 'Are you sure you have failed?'" he repeated.

"Don't hand me that shit!" shouted Gajandra, but then, he cleared the tears from his eyes long enough to see that Jutu was indeed handing him something.

Gajandra took hold of the small pile of frog feces and began to examine it. "What am I supposed to do with this?"

"Once more I ask you master, 'Are you sure you have failed?"

Gajandra knew Jutu too well to let a thrice-repeated question go, and so he examined the pile of poo carefully. It was greenish-brown, and not much larger than, say, a... coin?

Suddenly Gajandra smashed the poo together, feeling its consistency between his royal fingers, and yes, yes, in the middle of the poo-poo, somewhat soiled but still possessing the quality of shininess, was a brand-new one-quarter rupee coin.

"Huzzah!!" he cried, "The Coin! Jutu, Old Friend, We have the COIN!!"

"Yes, master."

Gajandra was quick to very carefully wash the little coin in the oasis water and place it in his purse for the long trip home. As he splashed the water, he was startled by the voice of the gay little frog, who had lifted his head up above the surface of the water to watch the washing of the fated coin.

"Hi there," called out the little frog.

"Ah! Great Froglet! We are in your debt forever for your kindness!"

"It was nothing large frog-prince. You did me a favour too."

When the two returned to the kingdom, Jutu took the shiny coin and quickly employed it to finish the waiting load of soiled garments, and with the drying of the final droplet of moisture from that load, the horrible curse of the Roonawtta-mohnee was lifted, and life was able to return to normal.

Days later, in a pensive mood, Gajandra approached Jutu with a serious question: "Jutu, old friend, I know that you have foreknowledge of all these quests, but I must ask you, Why didn't you just ask me to ask the little frog for the coin before we descended into him? Wouldn't that have saved us a lot of trouble? And what did he mean when he said 'You did me a favour too'?"

"Constipation, your highness. He needed a little agitation down there to loosen up his digestive problems. Without our help, he couldn't poo; without his poo, he couldn't help."

"Jutu," asked Gajandra, with great deliberateness, "Am I destined to go on any adventures that do not require the shameless involvement of bodily fluids?"

"If I told you that, sire, I'd be breaking the rules."

"...and May the Gods Forbid that that would ever happen, Jutu," intoned the young Swami-Master-and-Father-of-His-Peoples-To-Be as he glared up at the Heavens, "May the... noble... freaking gods forbid!"